Looks like Kansas is the first state to dive head first into this "Intelligent Design" controversy by adopting the religious right's propaganda and re-writing the definition of science to what they see fit. Hopefully natural selection will take over and a twister wipe these idiots out to Oz, because that is apparently where their brains reside.

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2005/04/27/al_gore/index.html

As my daughter approaches grammar school, I am increasingly worried about having religious thought imposed upon her at such a young age. This article from CNN talks about a school district in Virginia that takes students to "optional" bible study classes at local churches during the school day. I find the fact that they are "optional" totally laughable. What kid is going to opt-out of going to this when his or her friends are going? That kid would be treated as an outsider for not going along with the group. Is this really what we need to be encouraging for our children? Besides that, I don't believe children this age can properly grasp the ideas of religious thought. Ethics and wright and wrong can be taught without religion and definitely without Bible studies. One person in the article summed it up beautifully: "Christians don't have a monopoly on morality." I am just afraid that my daughter will be encounter this in her future, considering the religious Christian community where the school district is located.

Watch it here.

I simply had to post my thoughts about this song, since I feel very strongly about them, as does everyone else about their own. In the end, though, they are my opinions and my understanding, so please formulate your own as well.

After reading several posts on the site, I did not see any that come to the same conclusions about the song Lateralus as I have. If someone else has posted the same/similar understanding of the song, please make me aware of it so I can discuss it further.

The realms I am about to delve into are foreign to most Western peoples. Therefore, this may not make any sense to you, or you may reject it outright. Believe me, I too was once a product of the Western Judeo-Christian thought process. But, as this song illustrates, I have embraced my desires “to swing on the spiral of our divinity.”

The song has a colorful beginning, literally. The song states that, in one’s infancy, only black and white are seen. This means that when the person was younger, both physically and mentally, all he knew or experienced was his Western culture. He saw and understood the world around him in the context of the Judeo-Christian lifestyle. Western society as a whole views birth, life, and death in a common light, which has been influenced by these faiths. This society focuses on opposites quite often: good/evil, rich/poor, awake/asleep, black/white, etc.

At some point in his life he must have desired for a different, a more colorful, or more complete understanding of the world in which he lives. At this point, “red and yellow then came to be,” meaning he started to view this world and his life from an Eastern perspective - a very colorful culture with subtle nuances to life. When I say Eastern, I mean a certain way of thinking that is present in such systems as Taoism, Zen, Buddhism, and Hinduism. These cultures teach us that the individual is the most important aspect of society. They teach us to perfect ourselves in thought and action – to realize the divine within. By doing so, all members of this human society would live harmoniously because we would realize all people are connected. The ego would disappear and people would selflessly devote themselves to improving society.

This culture reached out to him and gave him a new way of thinking and a new way of seeing. As far as the song is concerned, I feel it is mostly in line with the Hindu or Buddhist philosophy and mysticism. Now, in order to explain the rest of the song, I must digress into a brief summary of Hindu/Buddhist beliefs.

When someone asks you, “Who are you?” how do you respond? Do you reply with your name? Or maybe your job title? Both would be fine answers, but what makes you you? Is it your body? Maybe your personality or your life’s experiences? Hindu beliefs teach us that there is far more than just our mind, our body, and our senses. Our physical body is merely a temporary container for our eternal soul. When the body dies, It, the soul, does not. When the mind thinks, It gives the mind the ability to do so. It is what animates us, and It is the proper answer to “Who are you.” Hindu belief refers to It as the Self. Each person has the divine Self within them. And the form of one person’s Self is no different than another’s. This Self is the ultimate reality – God if you will. The Self moves from one body to the next in a cycle of births, lives, and deaths. During each cycle, a person gains more and more wisdom about the world and one's Self. The ultimate wisdom one can attain is the complete realization that one is the Self.

All that you can sense with your eyes, ears, nose – what we consider empirical reality – is not the ultimate reality. God, or Brahman as It is called in the Hindu texts, creates all the universe – everything you can experience with the senses. However, the universe itself is not part and parcel of Brahman – it is not made out of the same “stuff” that It is. When Brahman creates the universe, It, Brahman, does not change. It is beyond change, beyond life, beyond death. Therefore, It cannot be directly sensed with the body because It is not made of matter like the universe. The Self, however, is made out of the same “stuff” that Brahman is made out of. This is why our souls are immortal and divine.

“Enough about this mystical crap – how does this relate to the song?” you ask. In this song, he is explaining his process of realizing the Self. Self realization, as I said before, is recognizing that what makes you you is not the body or the mind. It is the Self that makes you you, and that Self is one and the same as God. To realize the Self, one cannot use the normal senses, as I also mentioned. So what is left then?

Since the Self is the highest form of reality, it is also pure consciousness. To realize this Self, a person must also attain a greater level of consciousness. Hinduism teaches us there are 4 levels of consciousness – conscious, unconscious, subconscious, and consciousness Itself. The Self, in the body, experiences these different states of consciousness. When a person is awake, the senses rule and the Self experiences what the senses provide to It - the body is awake and conscious. The unconscious realm includes both sleep and those parts of the mind which we do not have contol over. It is the realm of memory and past experiences - of creativity and dreaming. Even deeper is the subconsious state, where habits are formed and thoughts and desires lie dormant until they are awakened into a higher state. This "deep sleep" state is when the mind is still - no dreams or thoughts - just total calmness. Beyond deep sleep, the Self can experience that which makes up the other states - pure consciousness. This state is the realm of Self-realization. In realizing Itself, It realizes that It is not the body, not the mind, but instead the eternal reality. This detachment and understanding is the ultimate goal for the Self. Unfortunately, Maya, which is the material world in which we live and which we can sense, holds the Self back from this realization. It causes the Self to identify with the body.

However, through meditation, the path for Self-realization can be found. When a pure mind is conditioned to focus on itself without wavering or distraction, a person can experience this highest state of consciousness in which the Self can be realized.

Now, back to the song: He says “as below so above and beyond I imagine.” He is starting his journey of Self-realization. He is starting to meditate on his body below, his mind above, and the Self beyond. He is starting to move “beyond the lines of reason,” because the conscious mind cannot reason or conceive the true reality of the Self. The Self must be experienced. There is no logic or reason beyond the conscious state. The jump from earthly consciousness to this Self-conscious state of awareness does not come easy. Personal identity with the body must be erased. It is not a simple matter of will. This thin veil or envelope of personal identity is what prevents the Self from realizing the reality. In the song, he is getting to that point – making the envelope bend – and trying to break through the bonds created by Maya.

By overthinking and overanalyzing, i.e. meditating on the Self, he is able to separate his identity from the body. He is preventing his intution from withering away and missing the opportunity to experience enlightenment. He feeds the Self's will to experience the ultimate reality.

The second time the song repeats the colors, he says that his new spirituality allows him to see there is much more than just this world – to see the infinite reality in the Self.

The song repeats again, but this time his experiences are “urging me to cross the line” to pure consciousness. He is almost to the point of realizing the divine Self, and he is “Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.” Since he has never experienced this Reality, he doesn't know what is beyond the line. But the experience is so profound, he will simply embrace the randomness because he knows it is greater than anything he could ever experience in his life.

When he is embracing his desire to feel the rhythm, he is talking about the rhythm of the universe – the rhythm of the ultimate reality – the rhythm to which all existance is animated. His desire to “step aside and weep like a widow” means that, like a woman who has just lost her husband, the Self looses the body when it steps aside to realize Itself.

In this state he feels inspired to “fathom the power, “ “witness the beauty,” and “bathe in the fountain” of the infinite ultimate reality.

The word “spiral” comes up now in the song. A lot of people have interpreted this in accordance with the possible use of fibbonacci patterns in the song. I feel the whole use of the spiral may be related to fibbonacci, but we must realize that this pattern goes beyond pretty spirals and clever lyrical structures. These spirals and patterns are present in nature. Since the ulitmate reality created nature, these spirals are just another sign that points to the divine. These spirals progress out to infinity – the infinite reality. So, when he swings on the “spiral of our divinity and still be a human,” he is human, but the Self within has moved beyond the human body and is realizing Its infinite nature.

The last part of the song continues with his progress to the divine. He has his “feet upon the ground,” yet he is “reaching up and reaching out” to experience the Self. Finally, he rides “the spiral to the end” meaning going all the way to experience God firsthand. The progress of the enlightened soul, the Self, ends with the complete understanding of Itself and Its oneness with the ultimate reality. He keeps on spiraling out to the eternal during his experience.

"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion or
force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein."

That pretty much sums it up right there. Now, many these days don't realize the actual origins of the Pledge. Take a look at this site and be enlightened.

Anyway, I read that little heavily edited newspaper daily to see what the Post deems to be important enough to put in its free newspaper. Today on page 5, the World section, there was the story about how the Bush administration was trying to contain the scandal about abuses of Iraqi prisoners. Apparently, some of our boys over there are having too much fun humiliating the Iraqis they captured, like putting them in hoods and piling up their naked bodies. How this aids the interrogation process, I don't know. Right next to that story was a couple of little news bits about the American truck driver who was a prisoner of the Iraqi's for about 3 weeks before he escaped. Apparently, while our boys were having their way with the Iraqis in our prisons, the Iraqis who captured this American actually took the time to do surgery for a wound on his arm. I just found it a little ironic for these two stories to both be featured in the same section of this newspaper, since most American's would think it would be the other way around.

However, I was thinking that I should talk a little about myself, since this is my site, and illustrate who I am and how I came to the point where I am in my life.

What I really want to do in this story is not discuss my whole life including childhood, schooling, marriage, and career. No, I want to discuss why I have chosen www.abandonedfaith.com as my site's name. I didn't simply think it was a cool combination of words. The name has significant meaning for my life and the current beliefs that I hold.

To begin my story, and to explain my usage of these words, I must start from the very beginning. My mother was raised Catholic and my father Lutheran. When they had to compromise on my religious upbringing, they decided that I would be baptized Lutheran and raised Catholic. I don't know much about how or if they attended mass when we all lived together, but I do know they were not the strict every-Sunday-to-church type of people. After they divorced, during my grade-school years, my mother put me in after-school CCD classes on Wednesdays. For non-Catholics, CCD stands for Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, which was a catechism class meant to teach children about the basics of Catholicism.

Through these classes, I marked several significant Catholic milestones, such as First Communion, confession, and Confirmation. The latter was meant to confirm your catholic beliefs and be a sort of baptism part two. Since baptism is typically performed on a young child, who doesn't have a choice of faith or belief system, confirmation is performed at an age, typically around 13 or 14, when the church feels the person is mature enough to make a decision for themselves about their faith. They are "confirming" that their beliefs follow those of the Catholic doctrine.

Even though I attended these classes and performed the Sacraments, I still was, like my parents, not much of one for church. I would go on special occasions, or sometimes with my grandparents, since it made them happy for me to attend with them. Church was just so boring. By Catholic rules, each mass was to be performed in the exact same way. Besides, I wasn't much of a fan of singing in public, let alone all the stand up, sit down, stand up, kneel, sit down, stand up nonsense.

When it came time to go to high school, I had a sort of choice to either go to the local public school or the local Catholic high school. I say sort of choice because my parents were really more interested in having me attend the Catholic school, not necessarily because of the faith, but because of the quality of education. However, I was torn, since most of my friends from my public grade school were going to the public high. I ultimately decided on the Catholic high school, even though I only knew a handful of people who were going there. Before I continue, I must say that attending that school was really a great decision, even though, at the time, it didn't feel that way. The education I received and the friends I made will last a lifetime.

Ok, back to high school. Being a Catholic high school, it had certain way of life that you would never experience in a public school. The dress code, the Sisters, the prayer services - these were all totally new experiences, since I had come from a public school before. Many of the students came from Catholic grade schools, so they were used to it. But for me, a sort of Catholic by definition, but not by practice, it was all a bit overwhelming, even though I was able to be assimilated into the routine fairly easily.

During the first couple of years I had no problems with the Catholic way of life and Catholic way of schooling. I went along with the daily prayers, religion classes, and church services. Things started to change when I started dating my girlfriend (ultimately my future wife) my second year. She and her family were Methodist. During prayer she would not do the Catholic sign-of-the-cross like I was trained to do. Methodists do not do that, and by not doing it, she was just showing that she was not Catholic. She would sometimes give me a look when I made the sign that said "You crazy Catholics with your signs and strict rules." I never really felt wrong for doing it, but after a while it started to get uncomfortable doing the sign around her. I know she never meant any harm, nor did she want to change me at all. I eventually started doing the sign less and less when she was around and ultimately stopped it completely towards the end of my high school years. However, this was just one step towards the dissolution of my Catholic faith.

A big step came during my senior year. I mentioned that we were required to take religion classes. In these classes we learned about scripture, Catholic doctrine, and Catholic way of life. Senior year I had a class called Catholic Family Life. Before I discuss this, I have to mention that, buy this time, my girlfriend and I had become a very serious couple, completely in love and inseparable. The talk of marriage in our future had even entered our discussions by this time. Anyway, in this Catholic family class, one of the topics happened to be the Sacrament of Marriage, meaning getting married in the Catholic faith in a Catholic church. Up to this time, I assumed that getting married was the same no matter what church you went to. However, according to what I learned in this class, if you wanted to get married in the Catholic faith, you had to go through a whole bunch of steps, such as meeting with priests, attending classes, and discussing with other couples. Basically, what I got out of it is that if you want to get married, the Church has to ultimately decide if you are worthy of performing the ceremony in the Catholic faith. It is not enough for two people to just want to live together and love each other. All of these steps needed to be performed before you can get married, which actually take about a year to complete. I found this completely ridiculous, and I recall leaving class one day completely disgusted with Catholicism and its dominance over people's lives and decisions. That day I went to my girlfriend and said, "If we get married, I refuse to get married in a Catholic church!" She just laughed, because she never wanted to do that anyway.

By graduation, my Catholic high school had ultimately squeezed the Catholic out of me. I still considered my self a Christian, but I would not be affiliated with Catholicism in any way. The sign-of-the-cross was gone. Catholic marriage? Forget it. Going to church? No thanks. Without the prayer services or daily affirmation of beliefs in school, I no longer expressed my faith in any way, even though I still maintained that I was Christian. I didn't know anything else anyway. That would change soon, however.

College life was obviously a big change for me. No parents, living on your own, yet with 35,000 new people from all over the country and from other parts of the world. The university was definitely a cosmopolitan environment – far different than Midwestern suburbia. I lived in the dorms my first two years. This was undoubtedly uncomfortable living, yet it was the best atmosphere for making friends and meeting new people. Of these new people were types that I never had any contact with before in large numbers: foreigners, hippies, fraternity brothers, etc. There was also a group of people on campus that I had never come into contact with before: born-again Christians. Now, I still considered myself a Christian when I came to school, but these people were different. They had an agenda. They were crusaders. It seemed like everywhere I looked, their evangelist propaganda was littered on campus. Flyers and chalked sidewalks advertised "group discussions," "Bible talks," and other euphemisms for what I felt was radical preaching and religious conversion. Contact with these people and their agendas made me sick, simply because they were so narrow minded and oppressive with their messages. Like the Catholic school before, these people and their ways managed to squeeze the remaining Christianity out of me. I simply could not call myself Christian if it meant being related to them in any way.

Yet, it was one of these born-again types that helped me in a positive way to abandon my Christian faith. It was the end of freshman year. I was tired of Christianity and was soul searching for meaning and order in the universe. He might have noticed this, but I am not for certain. He was never the type to proselytize, so I didn't mind him at all. He kept his beliefs to himself and I felt comfortable around him, unlike some of the others. He was taking a class in the religious studies department called Asian Mythology. He recommended the class to me because he found it very interesting and said it was well taught and an easy humanities class. It was only offered in the spring, so I said I would consider taking it the next year.

Second semester sophomore year I was in Asian Studies 104 - Asian Mythology. I decided to take his advice and recommendation, even though I had absolutely no interest in learning about this topic. The title of the class is a bit misleading, although an accurate description. Asian spiritual thought involves a lot of mythology and fantastic stories about how the universe works and how to live a proper life. The class was ultimately an adventure through different Asian religious belief systems: Hinduism, Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, Confucianism, etc. Some of the ideas and beliefs were a bit hard to swallow coming from my strict Catholic background, since I was taught to believe that only Catholic belief is correct - everyone else is going to hell. However, since at the time I was undergoing a period of transition in my life, I paid close attention to the lessons in the class and truly pondered on these foreign beliefs.

We covered Hinduism and Buddhism in greatest detail, since the professor was Indian and there was a lot to be said about belief systems held by literally billions of people. I am not saying that the other religious systems were less important, it was simply how the class was structured. Now, never during the time I attested to the Christian faith had I ever had any sort of spiritual awakening or any other life-changing religious events. But when I was in that class learning the basics of Hinduism, I felt something. It wasn't a bolt from heaven that knocks someone of a horse or anything. I simply felt that what I was being taught made sense. From both a logical and spiritual standpoint, what I was learning seemed right, as far as being the correct explanation to the way things are. The beliefs were all wrapped up in myths and legends, but I understood the meaning behind it all. I almost felt, in a way, enlightened by Hindu belief system.

This "spiritual awakening" if you want to call it, filled the void in my life created by the process of Christianity being squeezed out. I could truly relate to the beliefs, although very foreign and culturally difficult. I still find it hard calling myself a Hindu, since Western society is based on Judeo-Christian beliefs, and society doesn't understand Asian spirituality enough to not consider you crazy for deviating from the "norm." Yet, Hinduism is truly a universal religion, which doesn't discriminate based on culture or beliefs. Unlike Christianity, Hinduism doesn't believe all non-Hindus are condemned to eternal damnation. Even a Christian can be considered a Hindu simply because the beliefs are so simple and logical. Hinduism believes that all religions are the same, in that they are all paths to the same Truth. I am not going to get into a discussion about the ins and outs of Hinduism, but I would recommend reading about the subject. Ultimately, though, my beliefs and understanding of the world in which we live do follow those taught by Hindu spirituality.

So, my story has come to the present. I feel much better about my life, my future, and even death. As a parent, I have made a decision to not decide for my daughter, meaning she should walk her own spiritual path and decide for herself what her beliefs are. We did not baptize her, even though our family wanted us to, because that is their tradition. I will not impose any one belief upon her, and I will encourage her to explore various belief systems. Whether she decides when she gets older to be a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Wiccan, whatever - I will support her in her decision because it was hers to make. I am not saying my parents screwed me up in any way or were wrong in their decision to baptize me and raise me Catholic. They simply were members of a western society and raised in Christian households, so they really didn't know any different.

Thus concludes my story about my “abandoned faith”. I do not have any regrets in turning away from Christianity, nor do I have any hard feelings about my past. I have simply found something that fits me better, and I am happy with that. I hope that all people could be as lucky as I was and feel content with their existence and their place in the world. My only recommendation for the reader is to not turn a blind eye to the rest of the world. Consider what others believe, even if it is not the same as what you believe. Don't immediately dismiss them as wrong - don’t pass judgment on them - and possibly explore other paths if you choose. I am not saying you should question your own beliefs, but maybe look into yourself and see if the faith you follow is your own, or one that has been chosen for you.